I am still a full time fixture in Caleigh's classroom acting as her one on one aide. Even with my presence and attentiveness there are still meltdowns.
On Monday, Caleigh wouldn't let anyone touch her. She wouldn't let me put her down. Each offense resulted in a crying fit that I had to diffuse. Another issue was participation. Caleigh refused to answer any question that the teacher asked her. The teacher asked her to choose the blue square and Caleigh just sat there for a moment. Then the more the teacher asked and waited the more angry Caleigh became. Eventually she did hand over hand with Caleigh and answered for her. She knows her colors and has for two+ years now. It was just pure defiance.
When we got home I asked her why she wouldn't answer the teacher. Caleigh told me "I don't like it" then she spelled out "question." So because she didn't like the questions she refused to answer them. I talked with her about the situation and explained why it is important to show everyone how bright she is. We also talked about following directions.
Tuesday, was a fairly pleasant day. I was present all but 10 minutes. The issue for the day was that Caleigh refused to sit in any of her chairs. Power chair, Child-Rite chair, and Special Tomato chair. I would ask her if she wanted in her chair. She would say "yes." Each time I went to sit her down and get her strapped in she started crying. She actually got so upset that she retched for the first time at school. I could tell that it freaked out the teacher a bit. She reassured me that Caleigh didn't retch last Tuesday when she cried so much. Good to know.
So when we got home I sat down and asked Caleigh why she didn't want to sit in any of her chairs. She spelled out "everyone sitting red chair." The next day I paid attention more and found out that after story time the teacher calls on each kid to head to the table and sit in a red chair. Story time chairs are blue. So all the kids sit in a red chair....except Caleigh. Physically she is unable to do so without someone's support. The school isn't willing to let her sit in these chairs. So putting together some of the pieces, I'm assuming Tuesday was all about wanting to be like the other kids.
Wednesday was more of the same. The orientation and mobility teacher came by and we watched Caleigh drive her power chair around the halls. The PT also joined in on the evaluating. By Wednesday afternoon I was just flat out exhausted. Caleigh's last day on the antibiotic for bacterial overgrowth was that day and her poor little bottom had a very raw diaper rash. She also complained of her tummy hurting. By that night, I had made an executive decision to not send Caleigh to school on Thursday.
Each day seems to bring some new emotional response from Caleigh.
For me, three hours of preschool drags on forever. The first few days were just entertaining. Now the three hours are slowly making my skin crawl. The routine and the physical transitions with Caleigh are tough. The hardest part right now is first hand watching the emotional time she is having. I have way more knowledge than any parent needs to have of their child's classroom too.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Which leads me to the parent teacher meeting.
It's not good. Not good at all.
Thursday morning I jotted down some of our concerns. I planned on going in asking my questions and maybe taking 20 minutes of her time. I had a game plan. I was already nervous about it. An hour later, I left the building in a state of shock.
I've always been a good listener. I'm not the person to spout off the first thing that comes to my mouth. So when I sat down in Caleigh's preschool room and the teacher started rambling about next year's placement issues and assessment related problems....I listened.
She started off with where we wanted Caleigh to be placed next year. Apparently, this has been weighing heavy on her mind. There is regular kindergarten at our home campus {our placement of choice}, there is a supported kindergarten {not even close to our house}, there is duel enrollment where she gets some services at school and we home school her. I sat listening to placement options and what the teacher has to prove to the school officials for Caleigh to be on her home campus, for 25 minutes. Which in itself is a load of crap. Appropriate education, IEP, least restrictive environment and all.....
I finally decided to make a move for my questions when she switched gears and started talking about Caleigh's iPad. I thought great, perfect time to chime in about our concerns. I thought wrong.
She started talking about a study that happened in the late 80's early 90's when facilitators were starting to be used. A facilitator is someone who supports the non-verbal person's elbow so that they can use some sort of communication system. This isn't new news to me, but I sat listening. Apparently the study found that when the non-verbal person was the only one who could see the object in question there were all kinds of errors, but when the facilitator was involved and was aware of the question the answers were often correct. Basically, subconsciously the facilitators were giving the non-verbal person some sort of signal. She then proceeded to tell me that because of those findings that she could not test Caleigh using her iPad the way that she currently uses it supported in our lap. She feels that Caleigh needs to be able to communicate independently for her to properly do her assessments. The sooner we can get another device the better.
At this point I could feel my blood starting to boil. Not once did she say that she believed Caleigh was using the iPad for herself. Not once did she say that she thought I wasn't making Caleigh's movements for her. Not once did she say that she believes Caleigh already knows the preschool curriculum. Everyday I would sit in her class holding the iPad for Caleigh. She answered questions, she spelled out words, she asked to go potty. I kept the teacher and the aides in the loop. I felt like an idiot. This woman and her team feel that I am answering all of Caleigh's thoughts for her. I will say that she did not come out and say those words specifically, but it was completely obvious by her tone, body language and what she didn't say. They do not believe that a 4 year old that is non-verbal, in a wheelchair and has a vision impairment could cognitively know what Caleigh knows. How do you change the stereotype of mental retardation in the education system?
It then hit me that the lack of interest in the iPad pretty much stopped the day that I did the "training." The training that I talked through and Caleigh cried through. Not once has anyone sat down and tried to use the iPad with Caleigh the way we do. This was on my concerns list. I have a feeling a lot of this comes from the PT who also happens to be the AT person. She started off that little 'get to know Caleigh's iPad' session by saying "now for those of you who aren't familiar with the iPad, it was never made to be a communication device. Some parents have taken it upon themselves to make it one." How do you change an educators mind that has been doing what they do since before I, the Mom, was born?
I did go through some of my concerns. Mostly those not iPad related. I wasn't happy with most of those answers and they all really go back to Caleigh being able to communicate. One concern that is a problem, is that until all the therapists have done their evaluations and we have an ARD, they can not train the teacher and aides how to transfer, position and help Caleigh. Why would I send her to school with people that have not been trained to handle her situation? Another boiling point was when I talked about going to our home elementary school and meeting with the principal early next spring. She quickly stopped me and said "You don't want to be that parent. The kind that is showing up all the time." She then told me that she wants to make the connections, with whatever placement she decides on, first and before we do. Huh, has she been around for the last two weeks? I am that parent.
I know that there are IEPs for a reason.
Individual Education Plan is just that - Individual.
We can fight this. We know how.
Do we want to fight this? That is the question.
Our wounds are fresh. So right now we don't know.
For the past 4 years we have fought to keep Caleigh alive. Something most parents don't even have to think about. It is times like these that really take us back to the place of life and death and just how fragile and connected the two are. It makes fighting to prove your daughter's intelligence and communication skills to people that have only known her for 7 days absolutely absurd. It makes balance in our life and happiness for our chronically ill child more important than assessments and placement.
I have a slight grasp on where the teacher is coming from regarding her worries on testing. If she has been doing this as long as she says she has, then she knows that there are modifications that need to be made and that there are tests that Caleigh will not be able to take. Why exclude her from an appropriate education just because you can't fill in a bubble and fit her in a mould. I feel like she has already given up because she is overwhelmed. What I don't understand is the idea of leaving Caleigh without a voice until they find a way for her to speak independently. Independence with communication isn't a new aspiration for us. This has been our goal from the beginning, but leaving her voiceless in-between is ridiculous.
Now let me talk about my facilitating the iPad for Caleigh. There are days that I do hold her elbow steady and raised slightly so that she is able to reach the top row of Proloquo2Go. There are days that I just hold the iPad and nothing else. There are days that she can sit on the floor with her truck supported. There are days she has to be in our lap. There are days that she rocks using a wheelchair mount. There are days that she can't hit what she wants using that mount. This is Dystonia. This is Caleigh's muscles, jerks, twitches and weaving. This is why we adjust her equipment accordingly every single day. This is Dystonia. Every. Single. Day. Freaking Dystonia.
I questioned our use of the iPad for all of about an hour after my meeting. I then decided that no one, not one person, and not a group of people that have been in the same room as Caleigh for 20 hours total over 7 days can tell me that I am talking for my child. Caleigh has told us when her stomach hurts needing medication, when she had an ear ache which ended up being swimmers ear, she has named all of her baby dolls, one of which is Baby Holly, and she chooses to do activities on a daily basis that I would rather not do. The list could go on and on. Caleigh's behavior took a one eighty as soon as she was able to communicate. I am not subconsciously talking for my daughter. Neither are her grandparents, our wonderful helper and all of her current therapists who were willing to take the time to learn from Caleigh and use the iPad with her. I refuse to let those people take away what we have worked so hard on for the last year and a half. Absolutely refuse.
On Monday, Caleigh wouldn't let anyone touch her. She wouldn't let me put her down. Each offense resulted in a crying fit that I had to diffuse. Another issue was participation. Caleigh refused to answer any question that the teacher asked her. The teacher asked her to choose the blue square and Caleigh just sat there for a moment. Then the more the teacher asked and waited the more angry Caleigh became. Eventually she did hand over hand with Caleigh and answered for her. She knows her colors and has for two+ years now. It was just pure defiance.
When we got home I asked her why she wouldn't answer the teacher. Caleigh told me "I don't like it" then she spelled out "question." So because she didn't like the questions she refused to answer them. I talked with her about the situation and explained why it is important to show everyone how bright she is. We also talked about following directions.
Tuesday, was a fairly pleasant day. I was present all but 10 minutes. The issue for the day was that Caleigh refused to sit in any of her chairs. Power chair, Child-Rite chair, and Special Tomato chair. I would ask her if she wanted in her chair. She would say "yes." Each time I went to sit her down and get her strapped in she started crying. She actually got so upset that she retched for the first time at school. I could tell that it freaked out the teacher a bit. She reassured me that Caleigh didn't retch last Tuesday when she cried so much. Good to know.
So when we got home I sat down and asked Caleigh why she didn't want to sit in any of her chairs. She spelled out "everyone sitting red chair." The next day I paid attention more and found out that after story time the teacher calls on each kid to head to the table and sit in a red chair. Story time chairs are blue. So all the kids sit in a red chair....except Caleigh. Physically she is unable to do so without someone's support. The school isn't willing to let her sit in these chairs. So putting together some of the pieces, I'm assuming Tuesday was all about wanting to be like the other kids.
Wednesday was more of the same. The orientation and mobility teacher came by and we watched Caleigh drive her power chair around the halls. The PT also joined in on the evaluating. By Wednesday afternoon I was just flat out exhausted. Caleigh's last day on the antibiotic for bacterial overgrowth was that day and her poor little bottom had a very raw diaper rash. She also complained of her tummy hurting. By that night, I had made an executive decision to not send Caleigh to school on Thursday.
Each day seems to bring some new emotional response from Caleigh.
For me, three hours of preschool drags on forever. The first few days were just entertaining. Now the three hours are slowly making my skin crawl. The routine and the physical transitions with Caleigh are tough. The hardest part right now is first hand watching the emotional time she is having. I have way more knowledge than any parent needs to have of their child's classroom too.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Which leads me to the parent teacher meeting.
It's not good. Not good at all.
Thursday morning I jotted down some of our concerns. I planned on going in asking my questions and maybe taking 20 minutes of her time. I had a game plan. I was already nervous about it. An hour later, I left the building in a state of shock.
I've always been a good listener. I'm not the person to spout off the first thing that comes to my mouth. So when I sat down in Caleigh's preschool room and the teacher started rambling about next year's placement issues and assessment related problems....I listened.
She started off with where we wanted Caleigh to be placed next year. Apparently, this has been weighing heavy on her mind. There is regular kindergarten at our home campus {our placement of choice}, there is a supported kindergarten {not even close to our house}, there is duel enrollment where she gets some services at school and we home school her. I sat listening to placement options and what the teacher has to prove to the school officials for Caleigh to be on her home campus, for 25 minutes. Which in itself is a load of crap. Appropriate education, IEP, least restrictive environment and all.....
I finally decided to make a move for my questions when she switched gears and started talking about Caleigh's iPad. I thought great, perfect time to chime in about our concerns. I thought wrong.
She started talking about a study that happened in the late 80's early 90's when facilitators were starting to be used. A facilitator is someone who supports the non-verbal person's elbow so that they can use some sort of communication system. This isn't new news to me, but I sat listening. Apparently the study found that when the non-verbal person was the only one who could see the object in question there were all kinds of errors, but when the facilitator was involved and was aware of the question the answers were often correct. Basically, subconsciously the facilitators were giving the non-verbal person some sort of signal. She then proceeded to tell me that because of those findings that she could not test Caleigh using her iPad the way that she currently uses it supported in our lap. She feels that Caleigh needs to be able to communicate independently for her to properly do her assessments. The sooner we can get another device the better.
At this point I could feel my blood starting to boil. Not once did she say that she believed Caleigh was using the iPad for herself. Not once did she say that she thought I wasn't making Caleigh's movements for her. Not once did she say that she believes Caleigh already knows the preschool curriculum. Everyday I would sit in her class holding the iPad for Caleigh. She answered questions, she spelled out words, she asked to go potty. I kept the teacher and the aides in the loop. I felt like an idiot. This woman and her team feel that I am answering all of Caleigh's thoughts for her. I will say that she did not come out and say those words specifically, but it was completely obvious by her tone, body language and what she didn't say. They do not believe that a 4 year old that is non-verbal, in a wheelchair and has a vision impairment could cognitively know what Caleigh knows. How do you change the stereotype of mental retardation in the education system?
It then hit me that the lack of interest in the iPad pretty much stopped the day that I did the "training." The training that I talked through and Caleigh cried through. Not once has anyone sat down and tried to use the iPad with Caleigh the way we do. This was on my concerns list. I have a feeling a lot of this comes from the PT who also happens to be the AT person. She started off that little 'get to know Caleigh's iPad' session by saying "now for those of you who aren't familiar with the iPad, it was never made to be a communication device. Some parents have taken it upon themselves to make it one." How do you change an educators mind that has been doing what they do since before I, the Mom, was born?
I did go through some of my concerns. Mostly those not iPad related. I wasn't happy with most of those answers and they all really go back to Caleigh being able to communicate. One concern that is a problem, is that until all the therapists have done their evaluations and we have an ARD, they can not train the teacher and aides how to transfer, position and help Caleigh. Why would I send her to school with people that have not been trained to handle her situation? Another boiling point was when I talked about going to our home elementary school and meeting with the principal early next spring. She quickly stopped me and said "You don't want to be that parent. The kind that is showing up all the time." She then told me that she wants to make the connections, with whatever placement she decides on, first and before we do. Huh, has she been around for the last two weeks? I am that parent.
I know that there are IEPs for a reason.
Individual Education Plan is just that - Individual.
We can fight this. We know how.
Do we want to fight this? That is the question.
Our wounds are fresh. So right now we don't know.
For the past 4 years we have fought to keep Caleigh alive. Something most parents don't even have to think about. It is times like these that really take us back to the place of life and death and just how fragile and connected the two are. It makes fighting to prove your daughter's intelligence and communication skills to people that have only known her for 7 days absolutely absurd. It makes balance in our life and happiness for our chronically ill child more important than assessments and placement.
I have a slight grasp on where the teacher is coming from regarding her worries on testing. If she has been doing this as long as she says she has, then she knows that there are modifications that need to be made and that there are tests that Caleigh will not be able to take. Why exclude her from an appropriate education just because you can't fill in a bubble and fit her in a mould. I feel like she has already given up because she is overwhelmed. What I don't understand is the idea of leaving Caleigh without a voice until they find a way for her to speak independently. Independence with communication isn't a new aspiration for us. This has been our goal from the beginning, but leaving her voiceless in-between is ridiculous.
Now let me talk about my facilitating the iPad for Caleigh. There are days that I do hold her elbow steady and raised slightly so that she is able to reach the top row of Proloquo2Go. There are days that I just hold the iPad and nothing else. There are days that she can sit on the floor with her truck supported. There are days she has to be in our lap. There are days that she rocks using a wheelchair mount. There are days that she can't hit what she wants using that mount. This is Dystonia. This is Caleigh's muscles, jerks, twitches and weaving. This is why we adjust her equipment accordingly every single day. This is Dystonia. Every. Single. Day. Freaking Dystonia.
I questioned our use of the iPad for all of about an hour after my meeting. I then decided that no one, not one person, and not a group of people that have been in the same room as Caleigh for 20 hours total over 7 days can tell me that I am talking for my child. Caleigh has told us when her stomach hurts needing medication, when she had an ear ache which ended up being swimmers ear, she has named all of her baby dolls, one of which is Baby Holly, and she chooses to do activities on a daily basis that I would rather not do. The list could go on and on. Caleigh's behavior took a one eighty as soon as she was able to communicate. I am not subconsciously talking for my daughter. Neither are her grandparents, our wonderful helper and all of her current therapists who were willing to take the time to learn from Caleigh and use the iPad with her. I refuse to let those people take away what we have worked so hard on for the last year and a half. Absolutely refuse.
19 comments:
Ugh. I would have hated that meeting--a lot. As someone who has been a classroom teacher, I understand the idea of overwhelm, and frankly, I can't believe that they would have Caleigh in a classroom without a full-time aide. That alone tells me that they aren't really equipped for a child like Caleigh.
I worry a lot about the iPad thing--Charlie can use it if I hold his elbow, but I have always worried that they wouldn't believe me. That's why I've videotaped us using word cards. They are bigger and bulkier than an iPad, but there's no question who is doing the choosing. I believe you. I know that Caleigh is in there and it's ridiculous to think otherwise.
I could go on and on, but what can I say? This is clearly not a good situation. The question is (and it is for me too as I look at the future)--do you force the unfamiliar or do you take the easier route? I hate that those are the choices .
Oh my, I'm so sorry.
I also was a classroom teacher, before my daughter's needs landed me at home full time. I agree that they seemed totally overwhelmed.
Like you, I worry about the iPad (or other devices that we might end up with) and communication. I'm so impressed that Caleigh is able to spell out her thoughts and communicate with you---don't let the educators make you question it. You're the expert on her and what she's capable of, don't doubt yourself.
These sentences hit me the most: "They do not believe that a 4 year old that is non-verbal, in a wheelchair and has a vision impairment could cognitively know what Caleigh knows. How do you change the stereotype of mental retardation in the education system?"
Seriously, how can we change it? I shudder to think what we'll run into in the years to come.
This is unbelievable and so wrong on so many levels.
Stay strong and know that you are the expert on Caleigh. They have only seen her for a few hours and should be ashamed of themselves for making such judgements. Don't let them make you doubt yourself and Caleigh. And I agree with you, refuse to make Caleigh go without a way to communicate.
Oh. wow. just...wow.
I can't believe what I am reading-and I am an SLP in pre-k.
Caliegh needs to be in school. You are seeing that in her personality-good and bad things-through the week.
Perhaps THAT class isn't appropriate for her.
Is there another one? Even if it's a farther drive?
She needs a team that believes in her from day 1.
Keep fighting the fight. BE that parent. for Caliegh. you are not over the top anyway-you are being realistic.
Can you video tape her skills? Her using the ipad on a day she doesn't need support? showing what skills she knows nonverbally-something to show this teacher she needs to step down off her pedestal??
@ChicoryBlue
Caleigh is definitely having both good and bad behaviors. She does need to learn to answer people she doesn't know. She does need to learn patience. So yes, school would be good for those types of issues.
We do have videos of Caleigh doing with and without the iPad. I probably need to start filming some more recent successes though.
What they don't understand is the more uncomfortable she is the more her dystonia will kick into over drive. She will need more support then. Vicious circle.
It's just such a beat down when your kids teacher seemingly gives up on them after 7 days.
I am an elementary special ed teacher. I have never seen a parent come and stay with their child everyday in any special ed situation in any of the three schools where I have worked or one where I volunteered - that is sheer lunacy! The school is using you instead of hiring another aide. You are right to be angry and upset at the way that you and Caleigh are treated! Caleigh is intelligent enough to notice that the other students don't have parents with them. Plus, children are so perceptive - if she senses that the teacher(s) are unwilling or afraid to work with her, I'm would think that Caleigh would sense that be reacting to it.
Be sure that you are differentiating between modification and accommodation (something coming up in the courts all of the time). Caleigh will need accommodations to complete her classwork and take tests. Accommodations do not change the content/difficulty of the curriculum, but merely make it accessible to Caleigh. Modifications would be making the curriculum different. Perhaps making it easier to understand or more simplified. Caleigh will not need modifications.
I keep you in my prayers as I am truly inspired by your amazing little girl. I am sorry that these teachers are making such poor decisions and unwilling to listen to you. Unfortunately, such has been the attitude of many of the educators I have worked with.
Let me know if I can help in any way. In the meantime, get a lawyer and force the school to follow Caleigh's IEP.
I would also get a list of recommendations from a developmental ped or pediatric neurologist who is familiar with what Caleigh can do. Or you could ask her ped to make a list of accommodations and why they are needed.
Damn it!
Your path, the one you travel every day, is far from easy. The strength you carry with you, not to mention the patience and love for your child, should ever be dismissed or underrated by these people. Stick to your guns, girl. And if it matters, I believe Caleigh Gray is one bright, beautiful girl.
there are a lot of good suggestions here. modifications/accomodations is a good point to bring up.
i know we've already talked this into the ground...but i want to say one more thing. it's ok to be "that" parent. "that" parent is the one that is advocating for her child. good, supportive, understanding teachers get that. and would much rather have "that" parent.
at the next IEP get that PT off the plan. you have a great home PT. then request an outside/contracted AACAT. go from there.
next year's placement shouldn't even be discussed yet.
i don't think you want to give up, or home school. but i know how fighting sucks.
we love you guys!
I came up with another thought. Summarize each point from your meeting. Including (especially) the ones about next year and you "facilitating" the answers.
Put your disagreements and proposal for solution (like teacher needs to be reminded that her placement for next year is a TEAm decision-not hers alone) under each point.
Give a copy to the teacher, principal, special ed and speech administrators. Request help resolving the issue because Caliegh has a right to be in school-and her skills respected.
Yes, be that parent. now. It seems the only way the teacher will think differently is if she is being guided by her superiors. Caleigh will be receiving services from them through high school. They need to know that she's a smart girl-and should not be taken for granted.
Every time you have a meeting with the teacher (at least for now) request someone from administration be there. The teacher will think twice before saying those things again.
I worked with a girl that, while not nonverbal or have the medical issues your daughter does, was "unique" in that she was normal cognition but was fully involved CP. Her district hadn't seen a girl like this in a very long time (if ever) (not needing a special-ed class but fully physically involved). Mom worked overtime making sure everyone came together and treated her as she should be-including being her 1:1 aide in preschool (although she went to regular preschool-Mom insisted her services be there-and won). She was THAT parent-but we all respected her for it. She made everyone a better teacher, therapist, aide, etc.
She is in 1st grade now and doing well.
Reading through this post has made me so angry! I am so sorry that you are having this experience with her school. What a mess! They are clearly overwhelmed and not handling Caleigh's needs appropriately. You have every right to be THAT parent. And given their outlook at this point, you HAVE to be that parent! SO frustrating! Praying for you as you make your next move.
I don't have a special needs child. My son has adhd that the public school said didn't require services, though. He's an adult now, but here is something I wish I was tuned into sooner: The teachers were very territorial- like Tarzan-this is my domain-their continued closed minded approach hurt my son and forever altered his view of school in a negative way. The record followed him through teacher gossip. only the newer teachers gave him a chance- and with one inparticular he thrived.
My son was more intelligent and creative than at least 2 of his teachers in elementary school. He often understood higher order humor and ended up in trouble for 'outbursts' of laughter.
In jr. high he was angry about writing another hero essay. Angry tweener writes: my hero is hanibal lecter. not only has he solved world hunger- he's also solved world overcrowding.
not popular.
I guess- in principle you are right- I've never hoed your row-- but it seems like closed minded teachers are the biggest obstacle
for Caleigh. Maybe she needs to skip this part and go to college!! I say that half-kidding, as maybe there is a student who is studying movement disorders or communications and education who would be excited to work with Caleigh to make the school experience work.
This is just horrible! I'm so sorry and hope you can find a better alternative for Caleigh, you all deserve better.
Ok, I am angry. I am angry that u are made to feel that way. As far as being that mom, it is our right. By being that mom, they have to be more accountable because we are extra eyes. You are an incredible mom and YOU alone are her voice. They dont want to take the extra time. I was told I couldn't go to visit the SPH class that I wanted my daughter to be in. It wasn't the neighborhood school but still very close. It was the only teacher I was going to allow Annabel to be with. I went in anyway and the teacher says don't worry I will make sure she gets in my class/school. Of course this isnt regular classes my point is don't let anyone tell you what you can or cannot do. Praying for you to follow your heart and your gut.
Okay, I have little experience with special needs, but I do have a B.S. in Child Development. One thing we were taught was that it takes a child 2 weeks to adapt to a new daycare setting. TWO WEEKS! Not seven days, interupted by health problems.
In fact, in my home day care experience, I found it takes two months for children to get really relaxed enough to talk to you freely. That's typically developing children, who've been in daycare since infancy, not a medically-fragile four year old who's never been in group care before.
I got a bad vibe from the moment I read that they took Caleigh's iPad away from her without asking permission so that the teachers could play with it. That showed to me that they didn't consider Caleigh to be on a normal four-year-old level. Would they have pulled off a deaf four-year-olds' cochlear implant unit without asking permission first, so that the aids could "familiarize" themselves with it?
Why would the staff NEED to know how it works? Caleigh is the one who needs to use it. The teacher's role is to ask Caleigh open-ended questions that stimulate Caleigh to think and reply. "Show me the blue square."... Bleah! Of course Caleigh didn't like the question-- it was patronizing and boring!
If you want a four year old to talk, you get some toys and start doing some pretend play with them yourself, talking to the child naturally and asking for her opinions about what should happen. Blue squares... sheesh!
WOW! Just WOW! I wish I could say I'm surprised, but nothing surprises me anymore. Why the hell is the teacher talking about placement for NEXT year???? They haven't even figured out this year! "That" parent! AGH! Are you kidding me? I'm sorry Holly. I know how much this hurts.
I'm so sorry Holly.
Maybe these jerks need to come spend a few days in the life of Carleigh and realize that you and Eric haven't given up on her and neither should they!!!
I watched the video of her with the math problems. She was definately voluntarily answering the questions, but was also struggling with Dystonia and sensory fixations. Therefore, she would need a lot more time to answer the questions. You in no way moved her hands to the answers. You only prompted her to answer the questions. I wondered from watching that video and some of the difficulties she has with transitions if there may also be some underlying sensory issues and difficulties with transitions and deviations in routine. It is obvious she is highly intelligent (more like a 7 or 8 year old than a four year old), but may need some help with sensory issues and transitions.
Hello- I just discovered your site- I run www.tech.li and thought this would be a great story for us becuase it is a perfect example of people that don't get it- the line about "an ipad not made to be a communication device" is shockingly ignorant.
I have a question: Have you reached out to Apple? This would be a PR boon for them and just maybe make the school see Caleigh for what she is and the iPad as a real tool.
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